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The Septic System Owner’s Manual – Subterranean Mysteries Revealed
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The Septic System Owner’s Manual – Subterranean Mysteries Revealed

Umělec magazine 2006/1

01.01.2006

Howard Lotker | review | en cs

By Lloyd Kahn, Blair Allen & Julie Jones

If you have a septic system, you should take a look at this engagingly illustrated manual, which is a complete reference guide and user’s manual for people who own or rent a residence with a working or failing septic system.
What is a septic system? It is a way of dealing with all of the wastewater created by a house. There is a septic-tank which receives all the wastewater and collects the solid waste, the liquid (effluent) flows on from the tank to the underground drain field(s), where it is absorbed by the surrounding soil and plant life, or evaporates. Or at least that is how it is supposed to work. This book will teach you about how the system works and what to do when it doesn’t work.
”The gravity-powered septic system is a wonder of technology – past and present. Its operation is so quiet, natural and energy-free that we tend to forget the vital function it serves. Sewage is carried from the house to the tank via gravity – no motors, no fossil-fuel energy consumption, no noise. Wastewater goes from the tank to the drainfield –also via gravity – where microorganisms in the soil digest and purify bacteria and viruses.” (Introduction, page VI)
”Approximately one-fourth (25.6 million) of the estimated 109 million housing units in the United States are served with septic tanks or cesspools, according to a 1995 American Housing Survey. During 1995 alone, more than 2.5 million septic tanks in America were reported as malfunctioning.” (page 160) That’s a lot of people with septic systems, and an awful lot of people with septic systems that are malfunctioning.
I’ll be honest, before reading this book I knew almost nothing about septic systems, and unfortunately, knowing about them is not going to help with the strange smell that has been coming from my bathroom for over a month. I, like many city dwellers, am hooked up to the city sewage system, where my waste is whisked away in comfort by liters and liters of perfectly clean water, which is then expensively and thoroughly re-treated at a wastewater facility. The Septic System Owner’s Manual will not help me with this problem, either.
What the manual will do, however, is give you detailed information about the different parts of the septic system like the tank, the drainfield and the soil, and how each of these elements relates to whole.
How can you keep your septic system running efficiently? ”Less wastewater means more retention time in the septic tank and more settling of solids. A reduced flow of cleaner effluent will prolong the life of the drainfield.” So, we are instructed to: ”1. Minimize the liquid load, 2. Minimize the solids load, 3. Be careful about what goes down the drain.” (Both page 39)
There are also helpful and obvious water reduction techniques such as, taking short showers and fixing leaky taps, and there is even a detailed section with accompanying drawing with details on ”the art of washing dishes,” (page 40-41) that will interest even those who don’t have a septic system.
Septic systems do need regular maintenance. ”Sludge and scum accumulate in every septic tank. How much and how fast depend on a number of conditions.” (page 54) The manual has advice for this situation (as well as many, many others); ”It is difficult to suck out the bottom 2 to 3 inches of sludge, particularly if it contains a lot of sand. The pumper should hose down the sludge on the bottom when it is exposed so that it will partially liquefy and can then be sucked out. A high-pressure squirter, not a thumb applied to the hose, should be used.” (page 52) And most importantly, ”if you’re going to do your own inspection of repairs, wear gloves and wash your hands scrupulously afterwards.” (page 54)
In the worst case, if you have ”water backed up into the shower, the toilets wont flush, and/or the drains won’t drain… or- untreated effluent is surfacing on the ground,” then your system has failed. (page 56) Don’t panic. Just use one hand to plug your nose and the other to turn to chapter 6 ”Red Alert!… System Failure,” where you will be taken by the hand and advised what the problem is, and whether you can take care of it yourself, or need to call in an expert. In some places in the United States, it is illegal to repair your septic system yourself – you may be required to call a licensed professional to take care of your shit for you.
There is a chapter on graywater systems, which take the water that is not from the kitchen sink or toilet (like, for example from the shower or washing machine), and reuse it, for example, in the garden, or for other activities, which do not need perfectly clean water. There is another chapter on ”composting toilets (also known as dry, biological, or waterless toilets)” which ”use the same biological processes as those at work in a yard waste composters to oxidize and break down blackwater (excrement and toilet water) into a stable form that looks like soil, not sewage.” (Page 74) You can use the end product in the garden, too, ”just not on the edibles!” (page 78)
Other chapters include one on alternative septic systems, which has options for people who live in nonstandard soil, weather or groundwater systems. There is also a chapter called ”Small Town Septic System Upgrades,” which gives you advice on what you can do if your whole town, or part of it, is in the same situation, with old failing systems that need to be replaced. Should you do it individually, or all join together to solve a common problem? Here you will find the questions you need to ask and options to consider. This chapter is followed by diagrams of many basic and alternative types of systems, on pages 112 – 115. And, if you didn’t know that ”a teaspoon of living earth contains five million bacteria, twenty million fungi, one million protozoa, and two hundred thousand algae.” then turn to the pictures of the soil life ”under the microscope” on page 34, where you will find drawings of some of our smallest neighbors.
The last chapter, ”a Brief History of Wastewater Disposal” is a perfect example of why this book is not only great writing about toilets, it is also great for reading on the toilet. The chapters aren’t too long and the text is very readable. This chapter traces the history of the toilet from Scotland in 3500 B.C., all the way through to the beginning of the last century. My favorite is the ”Old Rustic Liquefying Vinegar Barrel Tank Privy” (page 138) which looks like a throne atop a pickle barrel, and might be fun for historical re-creationists to try and build as a backup toilet for the summer home when the septic system goes bad.
What a great book. The illustrations make me think that this is what might have happened if R. Crumb had laid off the LSD and studied civil engineering instead. They are precise and full of life in a spooky way. Unfortunately, the eerily charming characters – the hysterical frog, industrious rabbit, and superhero septic service mole, among others – are not given much room to develop. But what can one expect from a toilet self-help treatise? The bottom line is, if you have a septic system, and don’t know that much about it, get this book, it is fun, helpful, thorough and interesting.





01.01.2006

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