Art World

The AW is considered by many as the most sophisticated game ever invented. In order to learn how to play it, it will be useful for the novice to imagine the AW as if it was a game of chess.

We would like to publish the following pieces:
- Scheme from p.50
- and Ideal Social Choreography for an Artist at an Opening (p.52)

Following this premise, we shall find that the art world roughly contains all sorts of equivalent components to this ancient game:

The king (the museum director)
The queen (the collectors and/or museum trustees)
The curators (the rooks)
The dealers (the knights)
The critics (the bishops)
The pawns (the artists).

Just as in chess, each one of these pieces that enter the chessboard move according to the pre-established rules of the game, but in a more complex way. The movements of the pieces, in contrast to those of chess, can be of three kinds. There is Social motion, (related to approaching and engaging one or more players), Financial motion (related to controlling other players through art acquisition or employment), and Political motion (related to controlling the other players by positioning yourself in a position of power).
We start with the king—the museum director. This, in theory, is the key piece, because whoever captures him either controls or wins the game. The king/museum director, however, is a piece of contradictory value. While being the most important piece in the game, he is completely powerless by himself. They need the protection of their institution and their staff, and most importantly, the support of the queen (the collector and/or the museum trustees).
The queen, who, as we said is played by the collector/trustee and in some countries the minister of culture, is the most powerful piece of the game. This is the piece with greatest mobility across the board and it can capture any other piece, turning it into the defining element of the game. And similarly, its inability to maneuver, or its ineffectiveness, guarantees the loosing of the game. It is usually the worst mistake in the game to antagonize the queen, due to the fact that these are able to undo the careers of everyone else in the game, including the one of the king.
The rooks (the curators) have unilateral powers that depend of the support given by the queen and other pieces. The power of the rooks lies in their position in the chessboard, which comes to explain the fact that some curators have more power than others. Due to that fact this power, generally, is transitory. In some occasions, like in finals (the equivalent to biennials and other events with high international attention) the influence of the curator is key. Certain alliances with the rooks are vital, such as is the case with the queen.
The bishops (the critics) always move diagonally, in order to generate the impression that they don’t have any particular leaning (left or right). They are the moral weight of the game, thus their association with the religious figure. In an equally non-committal, diagonal way, the critic tends to indirectly support the artists (the pawns) and sometimes develops links with them that are extremely hard to break by other pieces, including the queen.
The knights or horses (the dealers) are unpredictable pieces, usually of long reach, although its value in the board only is larger to the pawn. They travel wide and far (to international art fairs), carrying their artists with them. Well utilized, they can guarantee the success of a game. Those who mount the right horse may indeed reach success.
The pawns are, as we already know, the artists—the least and most important piece of the game. They are also the most populous in proportion to the total number of pieces, and given their incessant proliferation due to the art school business that produce them annually, it is very hard to value them individually at the beginning of the game. Nevertheless, as they start advancing on the chessboard, they start gathering strength and support from other pieces around them. A pawn that advances to the top of the chessboard is considered extremely dangerous, and their enemies will do anything in their power to stop it. Nevertheless, on these occasions, the pawn becomes quite a precious piece for those that are allied to him (a market value) and when successful, this unconditional support allows it to arrive to the eight square to “crown”, that is, to arrive to permanent recognition in art history. Once crowned, the pawn turns into a Queen and from there on is also able to maneuver with the same power than the most important piece of the game.

Game Rules
1. In the art world, there is not a single player, or couple of players, or even two colors of pieces. In art chess, the pieces have a variety of colors, determined by cultural and geographic background. In the international chessboard, particularly, the rule is that there can be pieces of any color, but usually the more abundant ones are the white pieces with a smaller percentage of other colors, as good players of these kinds are generally scarce. It is not desirable to play with the same kind of non-white pieces, unless it is a very regional tournament.
2. One should use the chess term used for some tournaments, known as Round Robin—everyone fights everyone. Under this dynamic, all the pieces have the chance to impact their surroundings and, to an extent, to run through alliances according to their possibilities and powers, being of course that the king and the queen are generally better able to orchestrate the action.
3. When one is to ascend to a higher international tournament, such as an international biennial, one will first have to face those pieces of his same origin (i.e. type and color).
4. In traditional chess, the goal is to capture the king. Although this is also true of art chess, (controlling the museum director is indeed a highly desirable goal), the overriding goal is to let oneself be captured by the queen (the collector). Due to this crucial difference, art chess can’t be won exclusively by using an attack strategy, but rather by combining a technique of fighting and seduction.
5. A “tie” in art chess occurs when the pieces of the chessboard prevent the progress of others, while at the same time failing to succeed due to being blocked by the others as well. This condition tends to take place in certain small art communities (see the last section of “cabin fever”), and often results in uninspired exhibitions and art events.

On Rebellious players
On certain occasions, there are those who do not wish to conform to traditional rules and attempt unorthodox strategies such as playing simultaneously both curator and artist.
This tendency, which originally was not tolerated, has become more accepted in recent times (we will address this topic more in the “curator” section). Nevertheless, here it is important to note two details. One relates to the “single channel vision” of the Art World (AW) society. Since it is extremely hard for an individual to be remembered in the vast multitude of artists, curators, critics, etc. to have a dual function tends to confuse people and makes it twice as hard to stay present in people’s minds. Secondly, those who opt for taking hybrid occupations in the AW may not find so many problems in the acceptance of their dual functions but rather in the side effects that may arise from such a strategy. For instance, an artist who curates must end up spending a lot of time trying to change the perception that he curates only because he is not too successful as an artist—which will distract him from both his work as an artist and as curator. And, a curator who exhibits his own artworks (especially in a show curated by himself) tends to generate distrust from full-time curators that will feel that he disrespects their profession, meanwhile artists will see him as competition. But perhaps the least desirable hybrid combination is the one of the artist/critic. In their case, when writing a positive review, the artist/critic will be regarded with suspicion, as it will look as if the individual is trying to forge alliances. Meanwhile, writing a negative review will generate resentment that may backfire on the artist’s career. It is important to remember that there is no greater pleasure than having the opportunity of criticizing the exhibition of an artist who has himself criticized other’s exhibitions.

The artist
At the dawn of modernism, artists worked hard in their studios, usually in isolation, suffering all kinds of deprivations, until they would be discovered by a dealer, taken on by a patron, critic or curator. Nowadays, artistic suffering has not vanished, but its nature has changed. Art school-produced, professional artists spend less time in the studio; instead they live a nomadic life between airports, recovering from jetlag due to endless transit among residencies, biennials, art fairs, speaking engagements, openings and other social events. Professional artists get more work done on their laptops and via email than in their studio, and have to attend interminable dinners with eccentric collectors and pull all-nighters filling out grant proposals.
Truly successful artists are the ones who recognize that their traditional art school education has proved completely useless, and proceed to develop actually useful skills such as digital programming, ethnography and sociology, perceptual psychology, business administration, industrial and product design, marketing, architecture and engineering.
In the same way, the way in which artists rise to the top is not the same anymore. While in the past artists were selected by a small group of connoisseurs who knew a lot about art history, today they can achieve recognition when supported by those who have greater financial resources to acquire and promote their work, and are willing to work with their supporters to continue producing good products that will be in accordance with demand and who effectively respond to artistic trends in the market.
There is a general, if unspoken, hierarchy for artists that is based on their international and institutional recognition. Although it is never used publicly, it is a useful reference for those who may wish to get a sense of the location of certain artists (including, perhaps, themselves) amidst the professional landscape of the AW.
A-level (also known as “blue-chip”) artists are generally seen as those who regularly participate in the main international biennials, whose work is owned by major museum collections, and who are regularly written about in Artforum. A-level status is very hard to maintain on a long-term basis, and even less on a permanent basis. All artists claim to be A-level artists. A-level status can be held for as little as one week in the AW. A-level artists constitute the top three percent of the market.
B-level artists are those who occasionally exhibit in international biennials and do have works in some significant collections, but whose exhibition and review record is spotty and uneven. Approximately 15 percent of the AW is comprised of B-level artists.
C-level artists, usually known as “emerging,” can be identified as follows: a) their career is in its very early stages, b) never managed to quite take off despite several attempts; c) were previously A or B-level artists and, after a decline in their careers, refused to give up making art. C-level artists can have a handful of significant exhibitions on record, but not enough to justify a B-level rating. Around 32 percent of the artists involved in the AW belong to this group.
D-level artists are generally amateurs with naïve awareness about the AW and little critical judgment about their own work, and generally regarded as hopeless. They constitute 50 percent of the market.
Nevertheless, artists will hardly succeed if they do not observe the basic rules of professional behavior, proactive actions, and passive strategies that are outlined here. The following rules will allow them to develop strong relationships, create a support basis, and manage to mask the ugliness of their artistic ambition with a likable and magnetic personality.
1. Appearances in society. Artists’ appearances at public events such as openings shall be inversely proportional to the success of the artist’s career—with exception, of course, of the artists’ own openings. Artists who attend too many openings will inevitably start generating suspicion about the seriousness of their artistic intentions.
2. Physical Appearance. Artists must attempt, at all times, to have an interesting appearance, of great introspective and psychological intensity. Being physically attractive is most desirable, but in case of not having such attributes an artist must develop a “character” sort of appearance. Artists should dress in keeping with fashion, but adding an unexpected element (for example, colored socks). This element will send the message that, while the artist is able to conform to the rules of the game, they is still able to provide an artistic vision. One should be cautious not to overdo a look, as it may backfire in creating the impression that one has an adolescent desire for attention.
3. Conversation. At the opening, the artist should not initiate any conversation by saying that they are an artist, but rather should be patiently quiet, as if taking for granted that the people in the party know who they are. In any group with minimum decency, someone will surely ask about their profession, which will then be the cue to start talking.
4. Plug-in. This term is applied to describe the artist’s strategy of promoting their work through a pass-through commentary, such as “the other day, as I was coming out of the studio with the curator of Sao Paulo’s biennial...” etc. Through the plug-in method, the artist can easily establish their stature without sounding too pretentious. The plug-in must be inserted in a casual tone, which will create the impression that the artist is used to a high-level experiences and opportunities.
5. Hyper-self-aggrandizement. Those artists who may want to have a strong impact in the AW should value themselves excessively—for example by asking that the transportation of their work be made by the most expensive art shipping company, or/and to be given business class tickets along with their assistants. While the artist may sometimes be scorned for this attitude, in reality their status will definitely rise in the AW, causing controversy and, in some cases, admiration. The attitude of the artist in this case will need to be at all times that of someone who see their importance not as a debatable point, but as an undeniable fact—which will make it even more convincing. Those artists of low self-esteem or weak personality are cautioned against employing this technique. In their cases, to use the hyper-self-aggrandizement can result in self-deception, making the artist convince themself of the fictional value that has been promoted. This can lead to traumatic situations when the artist encounters situations where their true value becomes apparent—such as not being invited to certain exhibitions, etc.
6. In the case of famous artists, however, hyper-self-aggrandizement can be redundant and counterproductive, since it will only alienate those admirers who normally surround this artist. So as a contrasting strategy to the last point, the famous artist should practice hyper-humility. Hyper-humility is very attractive because it helps people to relax when they feel intimidated by the artist’s fame. Hyper-humility works like a false modesty, but it requires flawless performance in order to hide its falsehood and appear convincing. Hyper-humble artists, for example, shall act with surprise when someone expresses interest about their work, as if this were a rarity. When the artist is flattered or offered a certain distinction, they should act as if this was undeserved.

Choosing Friends and Partners
The relevance by association (best summarized by the saying “tell me who you are with and I will tell you who you are”) has always been true in the AW, and it is vital to consider the importance of this concept in this manual. Due to the fact that the AW generally works by first (and visual) impressions and instinct more than by fully rational considerations, offering a strong first image of oneself is essential. Here we enumerate some basic procedures, which are valid both for artists as well as for anyone else who wishes to give a favorable impression.
1. It is essential that one associate exclusively with those who are at a higher professional level than oneself. Only in this way can an art professional aspire to ascend in the social scale the field. In contrast, those who surround themselves with less successful people end up being considered at the same level than them. The successful artist, additionally, shall look for counterparts in other fields, visiting exhibitions for example with singers, movie stars, designers and models, all of those being fields that carry much greater cache than the AW itself.
2. A constant question in the art world is: should one sleep with an artist whose work one does not like? The response to this conflicting problem, which is a resounding no, is not too easy to follow. The dynamic of the art world, with its extremely social environment of evening receptions and parties makes it easy to forget any sort of artistic standards, as well as the undeniable fact that many extremely attractive people can also be bad artists. Our recommendation is that, even though it may appear inevitable to cede every now and then to our sexual impulses, it is of utmost important to remember that this may cause serious damage to the general perception of our artistic criteria.
3. As a result of the previous discussion, it is a common—and unfortunate—scenario to see a successful artist or curator accompanied by a mediocre partner, hopelessly competing for attention while in the shadow of their successful partner. To those successful artists who have the tendency to have a partner who is 20 years younger, they are advised to not make any efforts to promote the career of this person, or use evident strategies to insert their work inside the opportunities that are presented to them (for example, making collaborative works or exhibitions). It's important to remember that, particularly in this case, love is always blind.
4. For those who are partners with someone at the same level and suddenly one of the artist’s career takes off, it is recommended that the less successful partner either abandon their original career or, if a desire persists in their profession, to abandon the relationship altogether. The AW society usually shies away from the sight of a successful artist next to another who has not been equally successful. Nevertheless, when this situation is inevitable, the artist’s admirers will have the obligation to support the career of their partner if they so requests. While, as we said before, it is inappropriate that the artist request support for their partner, the supporters of the famous artist will have to be sensitive to the famous artists ordeal, who is acting out of love, and will try to help out in the situation as difficult as this may be. Even though any project done by the partner will likely not be very good, this will make the famous artist happy, which is what really matters in this situation.

Regarding Friendships with Artists
It is known of several instances in which artists, apart from being good creative minds, are also good in the art of friendship. The main limitation of an artist is their lack of generosity and almost clinical inability to relate to the problems of others, or to even want to listen to them, which is an essential virtue in a friend. Much, however, can be achieved by keeping in mind that an artist will always want to be listened to at least three times more than a normal person.

Artists and Galleries
Like we have discussed in regards to the curator, the relationship between the artist and the dealer also has the elements of a seductive courtship, and later, of a pact similar to marriage. For those familiar with the initial process, it is clear when the initial courtship process is in vain. Some inexperienced artists tend to persist trying to develop a relationship for years without realizing that they have not the slightest hope to show in that gallery.
Once the gallery is found, both the artist and the art dealer must enter into the agreement that, however formal, will never cease neither to be a little uncomfortable nor to have certain instability:
It is fair game for either the gallery or the artist to “drop” each other for a better opportunity at any given time.
For the artist that looks for gallery representation, it is important to observe the following rules:
1. The artist shall never enter a gallery with slides in hand, with the purpose of showing them to the dealer “if a chance arises.” This strategy is commonly known as the “insurance salesman” strategy. Artists shall also not enter the gallery with artworks, especially if they are oversized.
2. An artist who enters a gallery for the first time without having seen the previous exhibitions or even the show on view, walks directly to the desk and tries to drop off his/her slides and resume, is doing a grave disrespect to the gallery. If the artist has not even bothered to examine the program of the gallery, why should the dealer invest any time in reviewing the work of the artist? Although the manual does not encourage it, it is understandable that on those instances some dealers will take the slides in front of the artist and put them directly into the trash.
3. European artists who come to New York galleries should not bring copies of their catalogues. It is well known that in Europe anyone can print a catalogue, and to bring one on those situations usually causes envy from those galleries that rarely can afford to produce any publication.
4. Artists should not harass the galleries, first sending their unsolicited slides and later calling the gallery in order to ask for the materials back, via Federal Express.
5. Artists should be cautioned that dealers will rarely be cordial when solicited. If an artist enters a gallery in a place like New York and is cordially greeted, and asked whether one is an artist, the artist should be put on guard and suspect immediately: most definitely the place will be a “vanity gallery” (see glossary).

Invoicing Etiquette
It is unfortunately a common problem when a gallery sells a work or works and later spends a disproportionate amount of time without either informing the artist of the sale or giving out the percentage corresponding to the artist. It is not recommended to sue, given that the gallery will likely have better legal resources and it does become an expensive process. More effective though, is to contact the gallery’s clients to inform them of the murky financial practices of the gallery. In extreme cases of gallery abuse, anything goes.

On Curatorial Guardian Angels
The artist-curator relationship, perhaps the most complex of the AW, has partially been discussed in the curatorial section. Artists should review that section in order to be aware of the curatorial strategies that will be applied to them, so that they can counteract them. The artist should follow theserules:
1. The artist shall do whatever possible to make the curator feel comfortable in their interactions and in control of the cursive dynamic. Any attempt by the artist to question the curator’s premises, as absurd as these may be, can intimidate the curator and damage the relationship in the long run.
2. Artists should always appear to show interest in the ideas of the curator.
3. The artist shall master the art of improvisation. If, for example, the artist is at a social gathering with a curator and the curator mentions an exhibition organized on a certain topic, and if the artist is interested in participating, they should immediately jump in, saying that they are working on a work exactly about that topic.
4. An artist should never complain or place any demands on the curator. The artist will always be indebted to the curator and, as badly as any given exhibition project may turn out, it is in the interest of the artist to be quiet and avoid any protests than risking the possibility of being invited to participate in future projects.

Death Duels: Artist vs. Artist
1. An artist is, essentially, the competition of another. Art history does not allow much space for artists of the same period and place, so that in what particularly concerns artists of the same generation, nationality, and social status, sooner or later one or the other will have to take the available place.
2. And nevertheless, it is important that an artist shall not reveal their jealousy, resentments or irritation that may arise when they may see a colleague receiving a certain opportunity that they would rather receive themselves. In order to minimize these aggravations, the AW has wisely devised a series of unspoken rules that keep a minimal appearance of courtesy amongst artists, especially for those who live in a same and reduced community.
3. When two artists who belong more or less to the same environment or community in a small city or area meet for the first time, they shall introduce themselves by their first names, assuming that the other person already knows them and that they “have seen the work.” The encounter between these two artists has to be of a reserved character. This behavior is needed due to the fact that, like in poker, the players in this context need to keep their cards close.
4. In larger AW capitals like New York, London or Berlin, the relationship between artists tends to be more relaxed because opportunities are a bit more varied and available. Nevertheless, the artist will then have to become familiar with the advanced methods of networking that are employed: a) always carrying business cards to any opening or reception, and if one is to have an exhibition soon, have 4 x 6” postcards available with the information, and always end every interaction by giving out the postcard and business card b) keep abreast of all the artistic events in the city; c) always “have something to offer” to other artists—for example, some sort of curatorial contact, information of a certain scholarship, residency, etc. In the same way as sports card exchanges, this initiative shall be corresponded by most artists.

What do to with Imitators?
It is not unusual for an artist to encounter a colleague whose works have ideas, artistic processes and physical appearances that are suspiciously similar. Nevertheless, coincidental thinking has its limits, and while imitators are well known for making people believe that they are capable of coming up with ideas themselves, more often than not the original artists know for a fact that these works are “rip-offs” of their creations. This ancient practice, known as “plagiarism,” is as old as art itself, and it has a variety of solutions, from embarrassment to jail and murder. This manual does not recommend the more extreme measures but rather the more subtle techniques mentioned below:
1. Imitated artists will have to hide their anger about the forgery incident, which, in most cases, will be hard to prove. Instead, the imitated artist shall warmly thank their colleague for having made a work that “pays homage” to the imitated artist.
2. Right after this, the imitated artist shall make sure that the whole AW knows about this “homage.” This strategy will help ensure to get ahead of the imitator by promoting the work as a forgery before it is acknowledged as an original piece, thereby also humiliating the imitator.
3. In the case that the forger or imitator proclaims innocence or ignorance, or accuses the imitated artist of jealousy, the artist will then have the right to claim the forged work as their own. If the imitated work is on sale, the imitated artist will have the right to demand 25% of the sale price of the work, given that this percentage represents the content of the work that belongs to the original artist.
4. If the forger/imitator still doesn’t back down, the imitated artist shall then invest in hiring three young art student assistants whose purpose will be to make even worse replicas of the works made by the forger, sign them with the forger’s name, and introduce them to the market over the course of two or three years. The original artist will ensure that every time an original work is made and it has been seen and exhibited, that the supposedly “forged” work made by the artist's assistants is also seen a few weeks later. After some short time, the reputation as a forger and bad artist will be firmly established.

Scratching the Other’s Back: the Art of Reciprocity
Professional artists know that even their greatest enemies can benefit them in some way as long as one is willing to participate in a reciprocal exchange of information such as grants, useful contacts, and tips. The art of reciprocity can only be mastered by practice. When engaging in an exchange, it is good to initiate it by offering a small favor, tip, or hint to another artist. Once this is done, the other artist needs to reciprocate. If the other artist does not reciprocate, one should stop providing information altogether. An artist should never be overly generous with information if he/she is not be able to get the same in return, nor should the artist be overly secretive, since this will discourage those who may be able to exchange information.

Attending the Openings of Others
The art of reciprocity and exchange does not operate exclusively on the basis of sharing information, but also on the more basic level of attending the openings of other artists, with the main objective of generating attendance to one’s own opening when the time comes.
If an artist #1 attends the opening of artist #2, it will be the duty of artist #2 to attend the opening of artist #1. In fact, it is the ethical duty of every artist and curator to attend the openings of all of those artists and curators of note who attend their openings. If one does not follow this rule, it is certain that the attendance levels of one’s exhibitions will decline considerably. Attendance to openings can thus be seen as a symbolic investment in oneself. In terms of opening attendance reciprocity, there is a certain tolerance to missing some events, but this wears thin as soon as it is perceived that the artist is making excuses and is not pulling his/her weight in supporting other colleagues.

When there is No Time to Make Art
It often happens to some artists who observe the previous rules very religiously that their social agenda (e.g. attending openings) will make it impossible for them to make any art.
This condition is often diagnosed as openingitis, the chronic addiction to openings. If one wishes to recover, it is useful to announce an absence from the city for an extended period of time, which becomes a good pretext not to assist to openings. In this case, one should just be careful not to walk around familiar AW neighborhoods, since one could be seen. If one, however, discovers that it is more enjoyable for them to attend openings than to actually make any art, the artist may be able to pull off an artist-socialite career, which is the one pursued by artists who do not in fact make any work in the studio but instead pose as artists at openings, telling imaginary stories about the work they make and the exhibitions they produce.

The Artist’s Nemesis: The Critic
On few occasions will the artist have less defensive power as when trying to deal with the critics. The relationship between the artist and the critic is extremely fragile and entirely dependent on the temperament and volatility of the critic. In case that the critic becomes irritated by the constant promotional harassment of the artist, this can be catastrophic for the latter. The critic, like an irritated bee, can sting and sting painfully. For that reason it is recommended to remain at arm’s length from the critic and to avoid furthering any relationship that may not be initiated by the critic. During the openings, the artist should only say a brief hello to the critic and be as friendly as possible, but not try to seduce them or start a promotional speech. In general, it is preferable to have a mediator between the artist and the critic, such as a curator or an art dealer.
The one exception to this rule applies to the “critics for hire,” in which case the relationship with the artist will change. “Critics for hire” are those who are hired by the artist or their gallery to write about the exhibition for the catalogue (a more unethical practice applies when the gallery pays the critic to write a favorable critique for a magazine). In these cases, the dialogue is more relaxed and the power relationship becomes more leveled.
Nevertheless, outside this one exception, artists should always ready to face the worst in terms of criticism. It is useful to remember that art criticism wasn’t invented to provide new insights on art, but rather to take new insights brought in by artists and curators and try to prove that they aren’t new, good enough, or well formulated enough. Artists should therefore regard themselves as a cultivated field that is harvested by the critics, or in some cases, a forest that needs to be regularly burned down to the ground every other season in order to be cultivated again in the next.

The Artist in Self-Intimacy
Artists often believe that it is their behavior in public that will be the most critical to their success. In fact, there is nothing more critical than their behavior while in total solitude. It is common knowledge that the artist's job has no schedule. Therefore true artists should always perform like artists particularly when they are alone. This practice will first strengthen the artist’s personality for public performance times, and will ensure that the artist won’t be caught off-guard performing off-duty in front of some surveillance or closed-circuit camera.
1. In a similar fashion to the art dealer's self-affirmation morning exercises, the artist shall also look at themself in the mirror every morning and, in a loud and clear voice, without any laughter, convincingly proclaim oneself as the most important artist in history. If the artist does not maintain this conviction, any efforts to truly succeed will undoubtedly end in failure.
2. Artists should show an unconditional love for themselves. Without unconditional self-love and admiration, it will be very difficult for an artist to be loved by others as well. Additionally to this self-love, artists shall also ensure to reciprocate their love to themselves.
3. Artists shall do daily “originality exercises” in order to increment charisma and enrich their personality. These exercises will consist of doing everyday activities in unusual ways, such as squeezing toothpaste in an original way, using kitchen utensils for gardening, cooking with art tools, etc.
4. Artists shall be prepared at any given time for an unannounced visitor by placing strange and exotic objects in their living environment and studio, so that these places look extremely original.
5. Artists should beware of competing against themselves. Often, artists past their prime will become resentful towards the works they produced in the past. As artists age, they shall be careful not to criticize their early career: it is better to be recognized for something that one did a long time ago than not be recognized for anything at all.

The Media Persona
Artists shall attempt to dedicate ample time and efforts to expanding the originality of their ideas, their outfits, their vocal affectations, and even their way of walking- all of which will make them a more desirable media target. Making clear and complete sentences works to no avail with the press, which inevitably distorts them. It is thus desirable for any artist to respond to interviews with enigmatic comments or even better, to answer questions with new questions. This way, artists will ensure that their comments will never be clear enough to be simplified, and if they have little to say, that their lack of discursivity is never discovered.







The Artist’s Obituary
Artists shall face the fact of their mortality in a pragmatic way. Since their families (if they have any) will have to deal with their funeral, someone will have to write their obituary—and no one would like to get an obituary that reads something like “almost triumphed, but lacked talent.” With the objective of preventing such a terrible obituary, artists who find themselves in mortal danger (due to age, sickness, or drugs) should perform a fictional death before a few AW personalities, working with a trusted friend to transmit the news. People’s immediate reactions will be meticulously recorded and analyzed, as these will tend to be very candid. Once this is done, the artist will analyze the general tendencies of these comments and write an obituary that will help counter such general perceptions. The ready-to-go obituary shall be entrusted to a lawyer and published as a disguised infomercial in Artforum and the New York Times. Self-made obituaries shall be generous but may not use too many superlatives in order not to distort reality too much. In the case of artists without any hope of positive comments about their work after their death, a personality-based obituary will be written, saying things like “he was a wonderful person,” or, like the classic description made by a music critic about Florence Foster Jenkins, say something along the lines of “his attitude was at all times the one of an artist that performed to the best of his abilities.”

Back Door Operations
More often than not, an artist will not produce very memorable, or competent art, and in many cases the work will not be very good at all. In these circumstances, artists can resort to certain strategies that may not entirely replace the lack of a true artistic talent, but which will certainly compensate and make a career out of very limited artistic assets.
Back door operations are those activities that artists engage in so as to indirectly support their careers. These operations can include opening a gallery, starting a magazine or an art advertising company, or befriending important artists and becoming their de facto “handler” or informal dealer. The contacts and quid pro quos that arise from these strategies often result in attractive opportunities. Back door operations, however, can’t function as a permanent artist support strategy.
If maintained for more than a year or two, the artist almost invariably (and unconsciously) ends up assuming the role of dealer, critic or whatever back-door identity he had originally created.

How to Milk Successful Artists
The common wisdom is that within the artist-curator relationship it is the curator who has the upper hand. In reality, and inasmuch as the artist becomes well-known, they can start gaining control of the curators they work with, while for curators it becomes more prestigious to work with an already recognized artist. One of the greatest fortunes for a curator is to cement a strong relationship with an important artist, because this relationship will eventually give the curator a strong card to play in their career, as well as external recognition. The recognized artist will have to be conscious of the importance of favoring certain curators over others, and would have to be careful not to abuse of them too much.

Psychological Etiquette
Many curators believe that, given their influence in their field, they have the right to modify the work of the artist—for example, by suggesting changes in the format of the works, in the coloring, the materials, topics, manufacturing mistakes, etc. And many artists are more than eager to satisfy such requests. Nevertheless, this kind of act tends to generate a kind of uncomfortable dependency between the artist and the curator: if the curator is not careful, soon the artist will come to them on a regular basis for help resolving and approving all their projects. If a curator wishes to influence the production of the artist, they would rather use the psychological strategies that we show below:
1. The artist/curator relationship is a bit of a “professional love affair.” For this reason, the curator shall never reveal the artist any preference for others. While the process of seduction is much easier from the curator to the artist than the other way around, the curator must be careful not to take the artist's “love” for granted. The curator must keep the artist away from any other conversations they may have with other artists. This would cause only jealousy and resentments in the artist, and they will start doubting the seriousness of the curator’s intentions.
2. In many instances, a curator will invite an artist to an exhibition for reasons that are external to the value of the artist’s work (such as, for example, needing a woman, racial or geographic diversity, or because a better artist declined to participate). In these cases, the curator should never reveal to the artist the real reasons for the invitation, stressing only the value of their work.
3. When a curator wants to include in the exhibition a particular work that is not the one that the artist favors, they shall employ a persuasion technique based on flattery (e.g. “this would definitely be the best work in the show”) and envy (“I'd rather show your work than X’s, because he has a very similar work to this one”). The strategy should function in a way in which it would be the artist himself who would conclude that the best work to show is the one that the curator had intended from the beginning.
4. In the case of artists whose artistic peak has passed, the curator would normally want to include works that correspond to their best period. The artist, in contrast, will generally want to show new work, which will almost always not be at the same level than the earlier work. The curator will then have to use all his talent to convince the artist that his “historical” work would help contextualize the exhibition, presenting the artist in the light of a seminal figure.
5. The curator should always leave the door open to the artist, making the artist believe that this is only one of many future invitations to exhibit. The artist in this way will remain permanently in expectation to these invitations, leaving the curator in an advantageous position.



Sentimental unions in the AW
It is a fact of life in any profession that sooner or later, sentimental relationships may come about. Given the inevitability of such unions caused by love, the AW is generally disposed to accept practically any combination that may take place. Nevertheless, it is very important for the art professional to be aware of what these relationships mean in the wider context of his/her career. While some relationships can initially be advantageous (for example, curators and artists) in the long run they can become detrimental for the less prominent member of the couple (either the curator or the artist). As one may appreciate in the following chart, there are different levels of “acceptability” in certain relationships with regards to the external perception that a certain relationship may have.
As a rule of thumb, professionals of a same rank and category may join without conflict (although some caution against the union between two artists). Art historians are generally ideal partners within the AW, since they are the least involved in economic or political aspects. Artists and art dealers, on the other hand, are the ones who generate a more conflicting condition. To those it is recommended, if possible, to find a partner outside of the AW.

Openings
Openings, also known as vernissages, are crucial events that facilitate the various transactions that form the dynamics of contemporary art life. In the tradition of 19th Century balls, openings tend to have a complex choreography amongst interest groups that intertwine in a harmonious and sophisticated manner. But in contrast to those social events of the olden days, openings have a commercial subtext, because almost all of those in attendance have something to offer and to promote. This fact can profoundly confound the simple visitor who may come to an opening just to “see the art.”
The experienced opening reception visitor knows that each one of those in assistance has something to offer in terms of their career. As in the previously discussed game of chess, it is the professional’s duty to reach the most important pieces of the game.
The ideal choreography for an artist at an opening can be appreciated in the following diagram. It is important to note that, in terms of the actual career interests of the artist, the exhibiting artist is the least important person of the evening, but one has to make sure still to say hi to them. The artist visitor will have as a primary objective to arrive at the table with drinks and hors d’oeuvres. Once having drink and food at hand, one will need to survey the room, determining which are the most important persons to approach. One has to operate in a hierarchical manner, starting with collectors and curators, and avoiding the critics (as mentioned before, the interaction between artists and critics is best when reduced to a minimum).
It is key for the visitor to walk through the gallery, and to approach with absolute elegance and indifference, because carefully displayed indifference can be an indicator of power.
In contrast, being impulsive while approaching people, or being too promotional right away, are indicators of desperation to all, and as a result, generate the impression that the artist can’t figure where to receive support. Explicit self-promotion is considered bad taste and generally associated with amateur artists. Even though it arises from a pragmatic attitude and goes directly to the point in regards to the objective of openings, nobody likes to see when someone tries to break the appearance of the social refinement that these events have. There are several ways of tastefully inserting self-promotion in a conversation:

1. No artist or curator during an opening should initiate a conversation promoting their work. Before mentioning one’s work, one must wait for the invitation of someone in the group to ask about their job.
2. No artist should excessively show off recent achievements or recognitions, especially before other artists who may find themselves in a much less advantageous position. This attitude tends to depress and stir envy amidst other artists.
3. While an artist is speaking about their achievements, one should never interrupt, and even less interject with phrases that would denote competition, such as “I also was at that biennial.” Such phrases will indicate that the other person is trying to minimize the importance of what the artist is narrating.
4. Party guests will flee from those who won’t do anything but promote themselves. It is important in any conversation to ensure that we give the opportunity to others to speak, so that we may also get a chance to insert our own message.
5. The finest self-promotion is the kind that takes place with no explicit announcements, but instead influences the interlocutor to give us a cue to speak about that which we are interested in. For example, international artists may like to exaggerate their jetlag, as this generally means that they have a heavy travel schedule and that they are in great demand. Using the subject of their tiredness and jetlag can be an elegant entry to proceed to talk about their work, as long as they are invited to do so. Conversations can go like “it’s just that I am so tired because I just arrived from Amsterdam.” “Oh, and what where you doing in Amsterdam?” etc.
6. It is important to remember that if we are not asked about our work (in whatever capacity we may work) most likely it isn't even worth attempting to speak about it—it is an indication that we have the wrong audience for that purpose.
7. For those who carry the exhibition postcards with them, they have to make sure to distribute these in good taste and not like someone who distributes flyers to every passerby. One ideally should give out an exhibition postcard only when asked about their upcoming exhibition.
8. During group conversations in openings, it is a common tendency amongst artists and curators alike to take over the discussion, starting an endless recitation of all their projects. This tendency is not only in bad taste, but it also is counterproductive and suspicious under the reasoning that, if one has so many projects and takes them seriously, one would not be spending time attending social events. Although this manual does not recommend listeners to point this out to the speaker, it is understood that some people may reply with phrases to the effect of “wow, you are so busy, perhaps you should go back home to work instead of being here with us.”
9. Dress code during openings. The adequate garment during openings depends, of course, of the kind of space that one is visiting and the kind of opening one is attending. Ideally, one should be familiar with the style of openings that the gallery organizes in order to make an informed decision. Some galleries encourage Hawaiian shirts, while others will disapprove of anything other than Prada (or a knockoff, if one does not have enough resources). Only collectors are given complete freedom to dress as they like, because they are not under any pressure to impress anyone. There are, of course, those artists who like to dress and behave in an extravagant manner and will do so at every kind of opening and high-level social event. According to some of them, this is due not to their interesting in drawing attention to themselves, but simply because they cannot compromise their artistic personality with the fashion expectations of a formal occasion. Some of these artists may arrive with props—flowery hats, teddy bears, provocative and/or revealing clothing, spears or golden capes.
It is not appropriate that the other visitors criticize their fashion decisions or laugh at them, because doing so would be as cruel as ridiculing their art in public. These artists are known as having repressed creativity, since they have had the bad luck of not having found enough ways to express themselves given the lack of interest in their work. It is therefore important to treat these artists with utmost respect. Hopefully, with collective acceptance, they will manage to overcome their creative repression.

01.01.2008